David Goodman ( @DavidAGoodman ) Twitter Profile


David Goodman

Writer: Family Guy, Futurama, Golden Girls, The Orville. President of WGAW for at least another week.

Joined on 18 August, 2009

  • 260 Tweets
  • 1.7k Following

Quoted @sahilkapur

Neil Gorsuch goes off on @NYGovCuomo in the 5-4 Supreme Court ruling blocking his Covid restrictions for religious services.

Here we see the reasoning of a brilliant legal mind. I’m kidding, he’s a fucking idiot.

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Quoted @ZackBornstein

Only kids who grew up in the 90s will understand this

Tomorrow, I’m giving thanks for @ZackBornstein

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Quoted @MattOswaltVA

to find your Hallmark Christmas movie take "A" + city you were born + add a "y" to the city + "Kinda Christmas" + "starring" + your first celebrity crush:

Mine is "A Norfolky Kinda Christmas starring Tatum O'Neal"

“A New Rochelle-y Kinda Christmas starring Batgirl.” I’m proud I made this unintelligible.

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Quoted @marcorubio

On Covid,media emphasized bad news even when we had positive developments & did more Trump/hydroxychloroquine stories than all vaccine stories combined

Part of a broader pattern of characterizing everything as bad news Republicans are to be blamed for

Marco, I’m telling you, he’s never going to let you get his voters.

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Replying to @anticapitalizm: once again watched the whole new season of the crown in a single day. sorry

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Quoted @KenTremendous

Turkey: tasteless
Cranberries: gross swamp pellets
Mashed potatoes: available anywhere, any time
Green beans: c'mon, man
Stuffing: dry starch chunks with herbs?
Gravy: beefy fat juice
Hot fruit pie: are you kidding me
Virus: worse than ever

Stay home. It's the easiest call ever.

I’m staying home and not having anyone over, but I’m still going to eat all this food.

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Quoted @thehill

Paul Ryan calls for Trump to accept results: "The election is over"

How brave.

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Quoted @DonaldJTrumpJr

Wow this should be cool... Tyson vs Jones. 2 of the GOATs going at it. I was at many of their fights growing up so this should have some nostalgia. Also love that @triller is putting it on an interesting twist.

An artful attempt to change the subject. But just a reminder:

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Replying to @Merrillmarkoe: IMO, the hardest part of writing is starting something. And the only way I have ever been able to conquer it is to keep…

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IMO, the hardest part of writing is starting something. And the only way I have ever been able to conquer it is to keep procrastinating until my disgust level is so unbearable that I can't live with myself for another second unless I start.

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Quoted @DonaldJTrumpJr

Truly disgusting

“How you feeling, Jr.? You’ll get through this, you’re stronger than I am, and I did! Hang in there son, I’m thinking of you.” - phone call from Trump to his son Don Jr. that Don Jr. made up in his head.

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Quoted @joshtpm

To soften the blow of defeat Fox's Geraldo proposes naming the vaccine after Trump. "It would be a nice gesture to him and years from now it would become kind of a generic name. Have you got your trump yet, I got my trump, I'm fine. I wished we could honor him in that way."

Or... or... something slightly more common, like taking a big shit, not a normal shit, a complete evacuation of the bowels. So “grandma was worried because she Trumped and there was a little blood in it,” or “my husband was constipated for like a week, but finally Trumped today.”

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Quoted @IvankaTrump

This is harassment pure and simple. This ‘inquiry’ by NYC democrats is 100% motivated by politics, publicity and rage. They know very well that there’s nothing here and that there was no tax benefit whatsoever. These politicians are simply ruthless.

It’s to pay you back for harassing us with your omnipresence.

Also, you’re a criminal.

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Quoted @MikeBalsamo1

ATLANTA (AP) — Georgia election official says hand tally of presidential race is complete, the results affirm Biden’s lead over Trump.

Do another recount, Biden should win Georgia once a month.

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Quoted @chuckwoolery

Republicans BACKSTAB Trump — Help Dems Block Measure 47-50

I thought you were going to Parler?

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.⁦@realDonaldTrump⁩ this is fake news, even if she called you all those things she shouldn’t be fired because she’s doing such a great job now with all the legal cases.

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Quoted @chuckwoolery

Warning: Soon I will be leaving Twitter and moveing to Parlor.

No “e” in “moving”, but they probably won’t care about spelling as much over on “Parler.”

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Quoted @MSNBC

Opinion | Michael Conway: If President-elect Joe Biden hopes to fulfill his pledge to unify the nation, he should do the unthinkable and pardon Donald Trump. -@NBCNewsTHINK

Or! Or! Biden should say this to Trump!

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Quoted @realDonaldTrump

The only thing secure about our 2020 Election was that it was virtually impenetrable by foreign powers. On that, the Trump Administration takes great credit. Unfortunately, the Radical Left Democrats, Dominion, and others, were perhaps more successful!

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Quoted @DonaldJTrumpJr

I wonder how many other states this kind of insanity was rampant in?

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once again watched the whole new season of the crown in a single day. sorry

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She grabbed his hand just in time.

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